This summer was supposed to really kick into gear around the second week of June. Things have changed. I am excited about the change, but I am also sad to be leaving friends here- friends I had hoped to hang out with this summer.
I suppose I should start at the beginning.
August 2010
I got back from summer camp in August. I was in love. I had finally found my niche..and it was not timber industry- it was outdoor recreation. I went through camp withdraws over the next 8 months.
September- November 2010
I plotted and worked to get enough money for a Wilderness First Responder (WFR) certification, but things fell through and I was not able to go. I go to TN to visit friends and fall absolutely in love (again) with TN.
January-April 2011
I again plotted and worked for enough money and time for a Whitewater rafting school, again I did not have enough money or time but I had new friends. Friends that were amazing enough to stick around AL just so I could hang out with them. I continue to visit TN as often as I have the time and gas money...it's a beautiful place (in more than one way)!
I quit my waitress job and vow never to return. I get a really good lab assistant job at school. The lab runs out of grant money and has to let me go...and I refuse to be a waitress again. I scratch by (insert amazing Parents). I get a job cleaning houses. I learn a lot about humility, patience, care, and re-realize that I really don't mind being poor- life is much simpler. I get my "dream" job working at an outdoors equipment retailer. I have applied for this job at least three times...I am elated to get it! I finally have some hope of steady money.
Massive storms and tornadoes hit AL on the 27th, the weekend I was supposed to start working. I am unable to contact the store for a week because of power outages and other chaos...so I go to TN and help friends dig their house/ property out from hundreds of downed trees. I have the time of my life. I dream big. I am really sad to leave.
May 2011
I have worked two days at my new retail job instead of ten...thank you Mr. Weather. I contact the summer camp I work for because I do not have enough money to get my CPR certification (it would have cost half the money I own). They say they can help. They offer me the Whitewater Raft Course on scholarship. They offer to help me get there. They offer me odd jobs if I need them so that I can eat while there. They promise to take care of me.
I hope, I scream inside, I am undecided and confused. I love visiting TN, I love my little sister there. I love my families up there. I had hoped that with my new retail job I would have enough money to visit TN pretty often until mid June...were all these opportunities God? Was this just wishful thinking?? I'm torn as to which road to take both are good. One is obviously God, but the other one is still really good.
My Mom had more faith than me. We prayed, she asked "If this is an open door please let it open quickly and clearly, if it's not let it slam shut". Two hours later my camp had offered to help me get up there. The next day my tax refund came in the mail. I realize that I am supposed to be in a wedding the last day of raft training. I ask the camp if this is okay- they say yes I'll just finish when I get back. The day after that I told my new boss (of three days) that I was leaving in a week- he did not fire me, he did not want me to quit. He said "Okay, just let me know before you get back so I can re-hire you". Open doors? Me thinks so.
Today
So I am going to camp about a month earlier that I had thought I would be. I am worried but I am trusting God- he has obviously opened these doors so everything will work out. I feel guilty for having told some TN friends that I would be here till June...there are things we planned to do that I probably won't be able to do now and that makes me really sad. My TN friends are one of the biggest reasons I did not mind missing the first raft training. But I am trusting that if God did all this so I can be a whitewater guide he can make the TN things work out. I am praying that I keep trusting God. I am trusting him to keep my car going. In the next two weeks I have to go to training, come back, go to a wedding, go back to camp aka 1200 miles...please pray for my car!
In conclusion
God has opened doors to give me 300+ dollars worth of things for about 150$ worth of gas money. I am trusting God for my money situation, my car, my relationships in TN, my everything. I am nervous. I am sad. I am happy. I am fearful. I am trusting. I am hopeful. I am praying. I am learning. I am feeling so many things at once it's crazy.
Love mE
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